Mental 4 Dental

Mmmm.... 6 years till my next employment. Sounds like a long time... I say to myself "in the grand scheme of things this is a tiny tiny tiny bump on the universe's road to infinite entropy, so be the non-stopping working ant, and just keep digging. My well of happiness should be down there somewhere and one day it would erupt with joy of water"!

Still though, easier said than done. I'm very worried about the outcome of it all. What if i get pregnant in these six years? what if i can never get pregnant after that six years? What if my marriage falls apart in these six years?...

recognition

I got my first cash award today, yay! So I got beaten up for taking initiative at first, and now I'm being awarded for the same thing. Life can be so confusing.

life outside of Mland

The last three weekends have been such happy ones. And I realized that all of them were spent outide of Midland - there is joy in weekend trips: sailing, hiking, dune hikes (!!), beaches, ethnic cuisine and new people :)

snow?! grrrr...

It's snowing in April. I don't even need to visit Cornell, feels like I haven't left at all weather wise. And the wind is atrocious, I hope it gets warmer and stays warm soon.

Overpacked, wasted, life of mine

Long story short, my flight to AZ was messed up, resulting in excessively delayed luggage. We went the whole weekend without anything. and what did i discover? i definitely have over packed by far. The only things we needed was just some change of underwear and socks. My in laws have everything else, we did laundries every other day, bought one set of change of clothes and that's it.
I read somewhere once that "a clean house is a wasted life"! what about an over packed suitcase then? Quadruple wasted life!!! I spent hours packing, then hours unpacking, hours packing again, then finally hours more unpacking, not counting all the frustration with check in luggage!
NOTE TO SELF: will not pack more than two outfits, one pairs of shoes, and minimal toiletry.
I really want to go home and sleep... still debating.
Andrea said she got more furniture, including kitchen table, and half of a couch... "half?" yep, half... midland never ceases to surprise me. Who in the world delivers half of your couch?
No body seems to want their money around here either. I've talked about my landlord who wait two months on average to cash the rent checks, and now, my maid service skips it all together, they did not want to take my check at all. I left a check for their service, and they set it on the TV as in "organizing things" i think??? but they marked my bill as paid... so I'm just not sure what's going on now... they don't want my money... they just don't. and i can't seem to convince them otherwise.
Jenny is probably dipping in foreign waters. Ah... so relaxing... vacation interferes with my life so much, weeks leading up to a trip or something, i would be all distracted and don't want to work and just want to wait it out to escape from reality, then the weeks after the vacation, I'd be day dreaming, reminiscing the times i spend in a retirement community, where the pool is right outside, and there's not agenda to fill.
Ahh... vacation really screws me up. but now I'm looking forward to the next "escape plan" already. How am i ever gonna get anything done in my life.
SUCH FAILURE!!!

Hiding until Summertime

So lately I've noticed that I have become extremely anti proactively social. It's not that I'm anti social, because I'm still open to talking to people who approach me or ask me questions, but I am not making much of an effort to make conversation with others. Even in Toastmasters, I used to hang around at the end and chit chat, now I just pick up my papers and up and go. Not really sure what's gotten into me, maybe it's S.A.D.

I used to think S.A.D. was just a made up symptom, that is, until I moved to Michigan. I definitely feel more depressed during the winter months here and so much better when we get the rare sunny day. It's hard to make an effort to connect with people these days, I think I've reached my threshold for trying. Hopefully getting away to the caribbean for a week will lift my spirits, and then I'll be able to handle the cold dreariness better when I get back.

Left Handed Mouser

My right shoulder has been bothering me for some time now. Even after going through with the ergo evaluation and such, it didn't improve my shoulder. So i decided to get it checked out at the employee health center. After i was directed into this room, two doctors showed up. They told me with two of them they might be able to speed up the "process". OK...
As it turns out, since it might count as a work-related injury, one doc was just there to record down every little i said for legal purposes. I felt like i was being interrogated for my shoulder being in pain.
"Do you play tennis, or been golfing lately?"
-Golfing, huh? Are you frigging sh*ing me lady! Have you looked at outside lately?
"Did you fall or stumble?"
-um... NO idiot!
"Did you have surgery before on your shoulder"
-No NO NO NON ONONONO
I hate you!!!!
So after a list of stupid questions that i already answered on their stinky little form, they told me it's non-classified... which means it is not a work related injury, nor a non-work related injury... so they have this mythical in-between called "non-classified"
OK Lady, you completely just wasted my time. i came to get FIXED, and now you haven't fixed me and instead, interrogating me... I just want to be FIXED so i could sleep at night!!!

Urggghhhh so frustrated. I have been switching to mousing with my left hand, that seems to help! maybe it will make me smarter :)